You’ve got to hand it to Simon Cowell. Every weekend, millions of televisions across the country are tuned in to his show. In a few short years, X Factor has become quite possibly the most successful show ever made on English soil. And yet, would people really be as into the show if they realised what he had done? Would they balk if I revealed what his true inspiration was for this “reality” TV show? Would they laugh if I wrote on the obvious yet ignored comparisons? Because, you see, Simon Cowell has done something amazing.
Simon Cowell has made pro-wrestling popular and accepted by the masses.
Before I really begin with this, we need to clear up some of the misguided views of professional wrestling. The majority of non-fans laugh at wrestling as simply being two grown, oiledup men rolling around with each other. There’s a tendency to add some homoerotic aspects to the world of pro-wrestling which only the non-fans ever seem to bring up. Likewise, the whole “You know it’s fake, right” argument is so redundant, it’s infuriating; for some reason, wrestling fans are always refused the same rights as everyone else who watches a TV show in that we are refused the chance to suspend our disbelief. No other fans are constantly reminded that the show they like is fake.
Vince McMahon craves mainstream acceptance. But he fails to realise the two big flaws will always prevent that success from happening.
So how does Simon Cowell owe the success of X Factor to pro-wrestling? Simple. He’s created a product whereby he’s taken out these two greatest flaws that are held against wrestling fans. Because that’s what X Factor is. It is pro-wrestling without the grappling, semi-naked men, and with the innocence of the reality re-established. Don’t believe me? Consider the following;
Vince McMahon, head of WWE, broadcast’s a show every week following a formula. You’ve got your big flashy stage where the wrestlers come out and perform for the fans. The people pack the arenas to see these performances, paying big bucks to cheer and boo their favourite wrestlers, and to see the storylines which are generated between them. Wrestlers are introduced with video packages which tell you who they are, what their motivations are, and they make their entrances to loud music and pyro of various shapes and sizes. People pay for the merchandise and follow the shows religiously, all leading up to a big match where we get to see who wins the championship belts.
Simon Cowell, head of X Factor, broadcast’s a show every week following a formula. You’ve got your big flashy stage where the singers come out and perform for the fans. The people pack the theatre to see these performances, attending to cheer and boo their favourite acts, and to see the storylines which are generated among them. Acts are introduced with video packages which tell you who they are, what their motivations are, and they make their entrances to loud music and pyro of various shapes and sizes. People pay for the records and follow the shows religiously.
So what are the major differences? Other than the lack of near-nudity (outside of Simon Cowell’s ever plunging neck line), there’s only one big one and that’s the fact that Simon Cowell’s show still maintains kayfabe. For those not familiar with wrestling lingo, kayfabe refers to the portrayal of scripted events as being real. Although it really does not exist any longer in wrestling outside of desperate attempts by promoters to trick fans or to make things more believable, kayfabe was alive and well back in the 80s and 90s, back when people thought the events of pro-wrestling were 100% real and genuine.
It amazes me every week when I see how innocent some people can be over the X Factor. Let’s take the example of Jedward from last year. Even today, I see people discuss Simon’s “hatred” of the twins of Ireland who would come out every week with more and more outrageous performances. Every week, he would lambast the duo and exclaim his disbelief at how they were staying in the competition. And people would laugh, saying it was really sticking it to the man by keeping the duo in the competition.
The lights. The fireworks. The costume. Simon Cowell's judge persona is the very definition of a wrestling gimmick.
Here’s the catch though. Every time people voted for Jedward, every time the two appeared in the paper, every time they were brought to people’s attention, Simon Cowell’s wallet grew a little bigger. Every time people picked up their phones and voted for them, they were handing over their money to the millionaire. This happens every year, with this year’s entry most likely being (the amazing) Wagner. Twice now, Simon haswatched in disbelief as Wagner went through in the public vote, despite the fact he was favourite to go. And one may feel sorry for F.Y.D or Diva Fever, Simon’s groups who were booted in the opening weeks, but Simon probably couldn’care less. He makes his money from the phone lines and from advertising, and probably doesn’t care if Wagner goes on to win the thing. He plays the role of the angry but honest judge but that’s all it is. A role to be played by an actor on Britain’s biggest TV show. In fact, “honest man who tells the truth people don’t want to hear” is one of the staples of wrestling bad guys. It’s a gimmick that has gotten many, many wrestlers over with crowds, and now Simon has adopted that same gimmick.
On top of this is his “surprise” at acts such as Wagner or Jedward going through. Are people really innocent enough to believe Simon Cowell does not know who is going out well ahead of time? The vast majority of votes are no doubt cast on the Saturday night as numbers and performances are still fresh in peoples’ head. By Sunday morning, the producer (a.k.a Simon) would have a fair knowledge of who is leading and who is going, and even though more votes will be registered, they will undoubtedly follow the trend of voting set the previous night. Simon has plenty of time to see who is going to be eliminated and who is going through, and can react accordingly.
Furthermore, it is so remarkably easy to script the shows and edit all the videos down accordingly. Don’t you think it’s strange that all the finalists happen to be focused on in the auditions? Don’t you think it’s strange that they had the majority of their performances shown during the auditions shown and edited in such a way as to make them likeable (or not, in some cases)? The contestants are carefully chosen not by the judges but by Simon and his fellow producers, whose job it is not to find the next break out talent but to produce a television show (note: the clue is in their job title). X Factor has very little to do with the Xmas number one or the albums which come afterwards, and that’s why most of the X Factor winners don’t do much following their “championship win”. The majority of the money is to be made during the TV show itself, both in phone lines and in advertising revenue. Then in third, you’ve got the live shows (similar to the WWE House shows which tour and perform regularly for non-televised events).
The Amazing Wagner.
Meanwhile, the contestants are unwittingly crafted and edited to become characters, similar to how wrestlers are saddled with gimmicks (sometimes regardless of their suitability). So, every year, we get the contestants as follows…
- The ones Simon hates (as covered above) who go half way through the show until Simon admits he is starting to like them…thus they lose most of their attraction from the viewers and are promptly booted out.
- The sob stories (my mommy/daddy/granny/teddy bear is sick/dying/dead/missing).
- The camp act (See: Diva Fever)
- The teenage boy who can’t sing but will make it far due to being good looking.
- The nationalist act (be they Irish, Scottish, etc).
- The “Rock” act (Storm Lee, Jamie Afro, Tabby, Ben)
- The “From the street” act.
- The “I’ve got no confidence, boo hoo hoo” people.
- The “I’ve had a kid at a young age” people.
- The “This is my last chance” older characters.
- The act who is a great singer but would not be there unless they were fat and ugly.
- The boy band (usually comprised of a mix of the above).
- The girl band (who will inevitably do horribly and be ejected pretty quickly)
Shows like X Factor rely on a strict formula of characters and storylines, which are shown on television and covered by the media. Newspapers and magazines are all in on this act as well of course and are expertly manipulated by Cowell and his friends. How many times have we see Sinitta or Brian Friedman “leaking” some story about contests and their behaviour off the screen. You think Simon would think twice about firing someone if they stepped out of line? The stories you read in the paper and online, especially ones from “Inside sources” are carefully designed and structured to further your view of one of the contestants.
Simon has not made a name for himself by being naive. He's as cold as ice and will do anything to make money.
If X Factor was a singing competition as some believe, the final line up would be very different. We would have amazing singers but boring contestants, and no one would watch, certainly not to the same extent that they do now. Rather, as wrestling claims to be “sports entertainment”, a hybrid of wrestling and storylines, so too could X Factor call itself a “talent entertainment” show; a program which relies on a mixture of talented people being put into entertaining situations. Into gimmicks and angles designed not to find the best singers but to find the best TV.
X Factor is not a talent search which aims to find a long term superstar. It’s a popularity contest which hopes to make as much money in a four month period before moving on to the next series. It’s as fake as pro-wrestling. But that doesn’t bother people in the same way. And that can all be put down to Simon Cowell’s amazing and brilliant marketing mind. I am not criticising him for what he has taken and shaped. Nor am I particularly launching an attack on all that enjoy the show. Cause, hey, that would be very hypocritical. I watch the show. And I enjoy it despite the knowledge of its reality. Cause that’s what being a fan of a show is about; suspending your disbelief and enjoying the show for what it appears to be, rather than what it actually is.
Now if only non-wrestling fans would allow wrestling fans the same luxury…
Simon Cowell. I salute you, sir.
