Pt. 1: http://zeroexpectation.com/?p=145
Pt. 2: http://zeroexpectation.com/?p=247
Pt. 3: http://zeroexpectation.com/?p=321
Right, so here we go, final part’s up. I’m aware it’s been a lot longer than I said it would be, and I’m sorry, despite the inkling I have that nobody particularly cares. I have been suffering from what can only be described as EPIC writer’s block, but I hope I can get into the flow of things now.
I’ve meant to do this in every blog so far, but if you like my vaguely NFL-based humour, feel free to follow me on Twitter @Robbers_G. OK, remember your guess as to No.1 from the end of the last topic, because we’re going in….
8: New York Jets
Hah HAH! See? I foxed you. Even I know the Jets aren’t THAT good. I would have put them further up, but there’s just too much uncertainty. About everything. Right, let’s tackle these things in order. The defence should be as good, if not better, than last year. The secondary will be improved with the addition of a big playmaking corner in Antonio Cromartie. There’s also an improved pass rush with the addition of Jason Taylor, the one signing that everyone though could never happen. For those not in the know, that’s like Darth Vader quitting the Empire and joining the Rebellion.
....oh. Right.
So the defence isn’t really a worry. The running game, despite all the changes, should still be one of the better examples in the league, if only through frequency. But who am I kidding? The Jets’ season rests firmly on the shoulders of one man, and his name is Mark Sanchez. Now, I could write an entier blog just on the subject of Mark Sanchez, but I won’t. I’ll just say I’m hoping that the playoff Sanchez turns up instead of the midseason Sanchez.
7: San Diego Chargers
I imagine the Chargers will pretty much pick up where they left off last season. You know, as much as they can without LaDanaian Tomlinson and Antonio Cromartie, who both left for some AFC East team.
There's no pictures of either of them in a Jets uniform, so I'm going to have to go with another one of LT putting some poor fucker down.
It remains to be seen if rookie Ryan Matthews can carry the strain of a full-time starter at RB in the NFL, but at least he’s got Darren Sproles to give him a bit of backup and change of pace. On the defensive side of the ball, the loss of Cromartie will hinder them slightly, but they got a good short term replacement in Nathan Vasher. the big thing is that that frankly epic passing game is intact from last season. Considering their division, getting to the playoffs is surely a formality at this point.
6: Dallas Cowboys
Ah, America’s team. Finally broke their playoff drought last season, after nearly 15 years without a win in the postseason. And good for them. I’ve never really realised how good Tony Romo is. A consistently good performer with excellent movement and leadership abilities. I think it’s a shame he’s famous for one botched snap. Won’t stop me linking to it, though.
Botched snaps aside, the Cowboys should win their division. As, really, should most teams at this point of the countdown. They’ve always had good defence, and the running game looks to be as strong as ever. The big difference this year, though, will be how opposing defences adjust to Miles Austin’s new prominence in the offense after the passing game’s explosion last year. To be honest, he could probably scare the secondary off by smiling at them.
I'm not certain he's human.
5: Green Bay Packers
I can’t actually think of anything wrong with the Packers. 2nd best defence in the league. Solid running game. Excellent passing game. The problem they had last year was the O-Line, with Aaron Rodgers spending more time on his back than [offensive metaphor removed]. They fixed that towards the end of the season though, and shored up the O-Line with their first round draft pick, picking Brian Bulaga. What will determine the Packers’ success this season is Aaron Rodgers continuing to develop and keeping the stats that has made him a fantasy hit these last couple of seasons.
4: Baltimore Ravens
Yes, this is my shock pick. The Ravens have been punching above their weight with deep playoff runs the last couple of seasons. The Ravens have always had very good defence, and that will not change, especially if Ed Reed comes back. The big improvement last year was the emergence of Ray Rice as a first class running back and reciever. Speaking of recievers, the acquisition of Anquan Boldin will give Joe Flacco one of the better WR corps in the NFL. I just can’t see where the divisional challenge comes from. Bengals are too inconsistent, and the Steelers spend more time in the courtroom than on the football field.
3: Minnesota Vikings
Take this pick with a pinch of salt. This number 3 status is dependant on the return of Old Man Favre. He doesn’t come back, move them down to 8. The Vikings have all the makings of a proper top-flight team. Excellent D, one of the best running games in the league, and good recievers. It’s just the QB position. This is now going to turn into the Brett Favre show, which I’m sure he’d enjoy.
He did look good last year, with what was probably the best statistical season of his career at 40 years of age. This is the first year of Favre-watch that I’ve been convinced he’s going to return. That means he’s probably going to retire. I just don’t see where they’re going to go with the QB position if he does retire. Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels are both passable (pun fully intended), but don’t have that spark of playmaking ability that Favre has.
2: Indianapolis Colts
I don’t know how Manning does it. He’s just a winner. With a laser rocket arm.
He grew that moustache by just holding his breath and thinking really hard.
Normally after a Superbowl loss, a team will regress the next season. But as long as Peyton Manning is their QB, I can’t see them not making the playoffs. They have won at least 12 games for 7 straight seasons. The passing game is intact from last year, and the running game should improve now straight-line back Donald Brown has a bit more experience to pair him with the more athletic Joseph Addai. They also have a good defence, allegedly made better by the now-healthy Bob Sanders. For those of you unfamiliar with him, think Owen Hargreaves. Generally seen as one of the better players as his postion, but seemingly only because he hasn’t played enough to prove them wrong.
1: New Orleans Saints
Who didn’t see this coming, really? Reigning Superbowl champions, and have only improved in the offseason. I could leave it there really, but I won’t. They generally added depth in the offseason, along with resigning important starters from last season such as Darren Sharper. The only thing really going against them this season is superstition and trends. By that crap sentence I mean the classic ‘Superbowl Hangover’, where the winner of the Superbowl goes into the next season over confident and don’t perform up to expectations. Also to consider is the ‘Worst to Firt’ nature of the NFC South, the team coming last in the division coming first the next year, which has happened in 6 of the past 7 seasons. But the biggie is the Madden Curse.
DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNN!!!!
Frankly, all the signs are pointing against the Saints repeating. Why did I put them first?
Well, that’s the end of it. Finally. I’ll still be updating, but Wednesdaily, as opposed to every other day, whenever I’ve finished as I have been recently. See you next time!
