I love to say ‘I told you so’. Who does not? But, due to an uncharacteristic display of modesty (or more probably laziness) I managed to rob myself of this simple pleasure when I decided not to post my predictions for how the Kane/Mysterio match at Summerslam would unfold. I knew the casket would come out and that Undertaker would come out of it. Several times, Kane opened the casket to show it was empty, like how a magician would wave his arms over a tablecloth to show there are no wires attached. Sorry Kane, but you weren’t fooling anyone: everyone still believed Undertaker was returning, just as nobody believes that the tablecloth is genuinely levitating. Nevertheless, predicting the return of the Undertaker at Summerslam would have been about as impressive as successfully predicting the sun rising in the east tomorrow morning.
Nostradamus was right!
The two big things on Smackdown this week were Kane’s explanation for his attack on the Undertaker and Alberto del Rio’s debut. The rest of Smackdown just felt like filler. Take the Ziggler/Kofi rivalry, for instance. The only interesting element in all of this is how unoriginal and derivative they have managed to make a feud for the intercontinental championship. I suppose I should just be grateful they’re doing more than having it serve as merely a prop for some miscellaneous mid-carder but this feud is just so uninteresting. I’m not disparaging the talent of these two guys. I was getting into their Summerslam match until Nexus interrupted it for no apparent reason other than to remind us that they are in the main event and intend to win. Practically no promo time is given to these two and they just compete one-on-one week in and week out. I think this is the third time we’ve seen Kofi/Ziggler in as many weeks. We also have MVP involved in a storyline in which a brash and arrogant superstar feels he is so much better than a fan favourite that he can beat him at anything and everything he puts his mind to.
Hmmm, I swear I've done this storyline before
There was, however, more to this week’s Smackdown than foreshadowing a rehash of one of the more interesting storylines from 2007, for Alberto del Rio made his much anticipated debut. Del Rio is perhaps best described as a cross between JBL and 2004 Randy Orton’s cocky attitude and entrance pyro. Oh, and he’s also Mexican. Not only that, but we’re also supposed to believe that he’s of royal descent. I don’t know how many people noticed but Matt Striker really shot himself in the foot when he talked about del Rio’s family coming over to Mexico from Spain in the wake of the Spanish conquest, when we all know it was mainly the poorest sections of the nobility who left for the New World. He’ll probably get it in the neck for that. Putting Mesoamerican history faux pas aside, this was a decent match and my initial impression is that del Rio certainly has the look, charisma and talent necessary to succeed. I just hope he changes his finisher. We’re having a hard enough time taking the sleeper hold seriously and now you’re asking us to accept the armbar as a credible finisher. Seriously? The armbar?!
ARMBAR!
The real highlight of Smackdown though was Kane’s fantastic promo in which he explains his reasons for attacking the Undertaker. No matter how nonsensical, incoherent and contradictory the Kane and Undertaker story arc has become over the years, it’s still one of the most interesting things on WWE programming when they return to it. And now that the ‘shocking’ revelation, so painfully slow in coming, is finally here, the storyline can actually start going somewhere. Apparently putting the Undertaker in a vegetative state was part of a master plan formulated by Kane ten years ago when, ummm, the Undertaker made him take off his mask (whatever, just roll with it). Kane wants vengeance on his brother so that he can finally stop living in his older brother’s shadows. Kane knew it was time to act when Undertaker showed Shawn Michaels compassion at Wrestlemania. This is more complete of an explanation than I expected and I’m sure if anyone puts their mind to it for more than a few minutes it will all come unravelling (for instance what makes him think his plan will fare any better than it did when Undertaker was a biker, a time when he showed a lot more compassion than he does now?). For once, though, I’m content not to overanalyse the situation and just sit back and enjoy the promos….but maybe not so much the matches.
